Isaac Frett

Introduction

The biggest issue with limiting beliefs is that we don’t know what we don’t know. We can behave in ways that feel natural to us but are actually holding us back.

Limiting beliefs can sit dormant and run our everyday behavior, never changing until we first develop the awareness of them.

When we go through life with “blinders” we miss out on the abundance of opportunities that are all around us.

I used to think you needed to be well educated to live successfully. That was one of my limiting beliefs but that’s simply not true. We all have heard the stories of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and countless others paving their own way. That old belief was not serving me.

But I first had to become aware of it.

I wrote this article to show you exactly how to identify limiting beliefs.

You can’t change what you can’t see. This is about learning to see. I outlined 6 methods and 7 questions below to help you identify limiting beliefs. My hope is that it unveils the limits that no longer serve you.

What Limiting Beliefs Actually Are

A limiting beliefs is an assumption about yourself, others, or the world that prevents you from growth. It’s a conditioned program that is restrictive, and to you it feels true. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true for others, or true at all for that matter.

Often our limiting beliefs hide themselves in the stories we tell ourselves. When we say things like “I’m just not good at…” or “I believe I’m not good at…” we are speaking from a conditioned mind.

If we examine those statements and look closely at them we will see that they originated from past experiences.

I used to believe that work and play were separate. I thought that work was serious and it needed professionalism. I thought that play time was for that release and let go feeling. But that was just a belief that I had from seeing the people around me live in that way. It’s not true, there’s no basis for it being true.

Now I believe that work and play should be inseparable. I say that if you’re not playing when you’re working then your work isn’t as best as it can be. And by playing I mean infusing joy into your tasks. Doing everything in a way that brings your joy out of you for the world to experience.

Our beliefs are self fulfilling prophecies. When we say we aren’t good at something we will find reasons to stay not good at it. On the other hand when we believe we are good at something we will find reasons that reinforce that belief.

If we believe we work hard, when we get a task we will finish it efficiently. We create circumstances that tell ourselves we worked hard. We even seek acknowledgment for that hard work from others.

Beliefs aren’t just negative thoughts, although they can be. Beliefs are the reoccurring thoughts in your life that you assume to be true. They shape your decisions and your behaviors.

For example do you believe that you need caffeine every morning to wake up? That’s a statement that is not true for everyone. Other than caffeine addictions, let’s examine other beliefs that can limit growth, starting with our reoccurring patterns.

Look for Recurring Patterns in Your Life

Method 1: Identify Your Repeating Stories

Your limiting beliefs create patterns. The same situations keep happening because you’re operating from the same hidden assumptions.

Here’s a simple exercise you can take and use to discover these reoccurring patterns and an example below.

Pattern Recognition Exercise:

• Identify: An area where you feel stuck or keep experiencing similar disappointing outcomes.
  • Relationships
  • Career
  • Creative projects
  • Health
• List: 3-5 specific instances where things didn’t work out.
• Ask: “What’s the common thread?” Not just in circumstances, but in your interpretation and your choices

Example:

• Pattern: Three jobs in a row where you felt undervalued and overlooked for promotion
• Surface explanation: “Bad luck with managers” or “This industry doesn’t value my skills”
• Deeper questioning: What did you do (or not do) in each situation? Did you advocate for yourself? Did you downplay your contributions?
• Possible limiting belief surfaced: “If I promote myself, I’ll seem arrogant” or “People should recognize my value without me having to ask”

Common patterns that signal limiting beliefs:

• Always stopping just before success (belief: “I don’t deserve this” or “Success will change me for the worse”)
• Attracting the same type of problematic person (belief: “I’m not worthy of healthy relationships” or “This is the best I can expect”)
• Starting but never finishing projects (belief: “I’ll fail anyway” or “Completing this means being judged”)

When you see the same movie playing out repeatedly, you’re not a victim of circumstance—you’re the screenwriter following the same script (your limiting belief)

With a pattern you noticed ask yourself, “What would I have to believe about myself for this to keep happening?” This will help you narrow down your beliefs and find the root cause.

Notice Your Automatic Explanations for Failure

Method 2: Listen to Your Default Explanations

The stories you tell yourself about why things don’t work out reveal your limiting beliefs. Whether it’s an excuse, justification, or negative self-talk, it comes back to what you believe to be true about yourself.

The difference between growth-oriented and limiting explanations:

• Growth: “I didn’t prepare enough for that presentation” (accountability)
• Limiting: “I’m just not good at public speaking” (justification, “just”)

Here’s our second exercise for recognizing limiting beliefs by focusing in on our justifications.

Explanation Observation Exercise:

• Over the next week, notice what you say when something goes wrong
• Pay special attention to the word “just”: “I’m just not…” / “I just can’t…” / “That’s just how I am…”
• Write down your explanations exactly as you think them

As you do this exercise don’t judge yourself for any negative self-talk. Recognize the pattern and decide to change the pattern instead. Remember this process is for your growth not to examine faults or shame.

Here are some flags that can help you notice limiting beliefs in your self-talk. Be observant of the words you use especially when speaking “on a whim.” When we speak before thinking it’s coming from a place of learned behavior.

Self-Talk Red Flags:

• Always/never: “I always mess this up” / “I never get chosen”
• Just/only: “I’m just being realistic” / “I only…”
• Can’t: “I can’t do that” (when you mean “I’m afraid to” or “I don’t know how yet”)
• Should/Shouldn’t: “I should be further along / I shouldn’t be stuck here” (belief about your worth tied to achievement)

As you go through the week practicing this exercise notice these phrasing cues above. Write down the phrase you speak, the underlying belief, and the reframe (the better belief).

Here’s an example of what this looks like in your practice.

Example:

• What happened: Didn’t speak up in a meeting with a great idea
• Your explanation: “I’m just not the kind of person who speaks up in those settings”
• The limiting belief: “My ideas aren’t valuable enough to interrupt” or “People will judge me if I’m wrong”

• The reframe: Ask yourself, “Is this explanation a fact, or is it a belief I could question?”

Keep a weekly log of your automatic explanations and circle the ones that sound like identity statements (“I am…” / “I’m not…”). This will help you grow faster than anything else that I know of.

Examine Your Immediate “No” Responses

Method 3: Track What You Instantly Dismiss

Your limiting beliefs act as gatekeepers, rejecting possibilities before you can consciously consider them. This can happen in any area of life. But we don’t often bring our awareness to our limiting beliefs until we’ve “had enough.”

Someone suggests you apply for a promotion, start a business, ask someone out, or submit your writing—immediate reaction is no. “No, that’s not for me” or “I could never do that.” We let old beliefs driven by fear to control our actions.

But we don’t always recognize this behavior in ourselves. That instant dismissal happens so fast you don’t realize it’s a choice based on a belief, not a fact.

Here’s our third exercise for recognizing our immediate reactions, or our immediate “No” responses.

The Instant “No” Tracker:

• For one week, notice every opportunity, invitation, or idea you immediately reject.
• Don’t judge it—just observe and write it down.
• Ask: “Why did I say no so quickly? What would happen if I said yes?”

What to Notice:

• Speed: The faster the rejection, the deeper the limiting belief.
• Emotion: Does the idea trigger fear, shame, or anxiety? That’s the belief protecting you from perceived danger.
• Rationalization: Do you immediately generate “logical” reasons why it won’t work? That’s your belief finding evidence.

Example:

• Opportunity: Friend suggests you lead a workshop on your area of expertise
• Instant reaction: “No way, I’m not qualified to teach people”
• What this reveals:
  • Possible belief #1: “I’m not an expert unless I have formal credentials”
  • Possible belief #2: “People will discover I’m a fraud”
  • Possible belief #3: “I have nothing valuable to offer”
• The test: Would you think this about a friend with your same level of knowledge? (Usually no—revealing you hold yourself to different standards based on a limiting belief)

Common “instant no” categories:

• Visibility opportunities (speaking, sharing your work, promoting yourself) → Belief about worthiness or fear of judgment
• Leadership roles → Belief about capability or belonging
• Romantic possibilities → Belief about love or deserving love
• Creative pursuits → Belief about talent being innate or needing permission

This week, when you notice an instant “no,” pause and ask yourself this question. “What do I believe about myself that makes this seem impossible?”

Start now with one of these first three exercises and begin to reflect on your findings. When you’re ready for the next three methods move on from here. Don’t overwhelm yourself with all 6 methods at once. Start small and build with confidence.

Investigate Your Jealousy and Resentment

Method 4: Use Envy as a Diagnostic Tool

Things that trigger your jealousy or resentment often reveal beliefs about what you think you can’t have or don’t deserve.

Jealousy isn’t just about wanting something—it’s about believing that thing is available to others but not to you.

Here is the fourth exercise for identifying limiting beliefs.

Jealousy Inventory:

• Think of 3 people whose success or lifestyle triggers envy (can be people you know or public figures)
• Write down specifically what you’re jealous of (not “their success” but “their confidence to self-promote” or “their ability to set boundaries”)
• Ask: “What do I believe about myself that makes me think I can’t have this?”

Example:

• Jealousy trigger: Friend who constantly travels while you feel stuck in your job
• Surface reaction: “Must be nice to be rich/free/irresponsible”
• Deeper question: “What belief makes me think I can’t have flexibility?”
• Possible limiting beliefs:
  • “I have to sacrifice what I want to be responsible”
  • “Freedom is for other people, not people like me”
  • “If I pursue what I want, I’ll end up broke and alone”

When you feel bitter about others’ choices or success, ask what belief makes you feel threatened by it. This will help you dive deeper to the root.

Example: Resentment toward people who “have it easy” might reveal a belief: “Life has to be hard for success to count” or “I have to struggle to prove I’m worthy”

This isn’t about toxic positivity—jealousy is useful data, not something to shame yourself for. Next time you feel envious, get curious instead of guilty.

Ask: “What does this reveal about what I want but believe I can’t have?”

Ask the Belief-Revealing Questions

Method 5: Use These 7 Questions to Surface Hidden Beliefs

Sometimes limiting beliefs are so fundamental you need direct questions to identify them.

Set aside 20 minutes, grab a journal, and answer these questions honestly. The more honest you are, the greater growth you will have.

Here is the fifth method, 7 questions that reveal what’s holding you back.

Question 1: “What would I attempt if I knew I couldn’t fail?”

• Why it works: Your answer reveals what your limiting beliefs currently prevent you from trying
• What to look for: The gap between your answer and your current life shows where beliefs are operating
• Example: “I’d write a book” → Limiting belief: “I’ll fail/get rejected/have nothing important to say”

Question 2: “What did I believe about myself at age 12? Do I still believe it?”

• Why it works: Many limiting beliefs formed in childhood and were never updated
• What to look for: Beliefs about intelligence, likability, capability, worthiness
• Example: “I believed I was ‘the quiet one’” → Still operating from belief: “Speaking up isn’t my role”

Question 3: “Complete this sentence: ‘People like me don’t…’”

• Why it works: Reveals identity-level limitations and internalized social narratives
• What to look for: Class, gender, family role, or cultural beliefs about what’s “allowed” for you
• Example: “People like me don’t make waves” / “…don’t earn that kind of money” / “…end up in those circles”

Question 4: “What do I think I have to be/do/achieve to be worthy of love/respect/success?”

• Why it works: Exposes conditional beliefs about your worth
• What to look for: Impossible standards or beliefs that your worth is earned, not inherent
• Example: “I have to be perfect to be loved” / “I have to outwork everyone to deserve success”

Question 5: “What are three things I want but haven’t pursued? Why not?”

• Why it works: The “why not” reveals the belief blocking you
• What to look for: Reasons that sound like facts but are actually assumptions
• Example: “Haven’t pursued leadership role because I’m not charismatic enough” → Belief: “Leaders are born, not made” or “I lack essential qualities”

Question 6: “What would I have to believe about myself for my current situation to make sense?”

• Why it works: Reverse-engineer your beliefs from your circumstances
• What to look for: The hidden belief that explains why you’re tolerating something unsatisfying
• Example: Staying in unfulfilling job → Might believe: “I’m lucky to have any job” / “I’m not capable of more” / “Switching is too risky for someone like me”

Question 7: “What would [person I admire] tell me is possible for me that I don’t believe?”

• Why it works: Others often see our potential more clearly than we do
• What to look for: The difference between their view and yours reveals your limiting belief
• Example: A coworker says you could run the department; you believe you’re not ready → Belief: “I need to be 100% qualified before stepping up”

Answer all seven questions in one sitting. Circle any answers that surprise you or make you uncomfortable—those are likely pointing directly at limiting beliefs.

Notice What You Avoid or Procrastinate On

Method 6: Your Resistance Is a Map

What you chronically avoid often reveals a limiting belief protecting you from a sense of false danger.

This isn’t about normal procrastination—it’s about the things you want to do but consistently don’t.

Here is our sixth and last exercise for recognizing patterns of avoidance.

Avoidance Audit:

• List 3 goals or projects you’ve been “meaning to” start or finish for months/years
• For each one, ask: “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I actually did this?”
• Then ask: “What do I believe about myself that makes that outcome feel inevitable or unbearable?”

Example:

• Avoidance: Updating resume and applying for better jobs
• Worst outcome: “I’ll get rejected and feel like a failure”
• Limiting belief: “I’m not actually as competent as my current role suggests” or “Rejection would confirm I’m not good enough”

Common avoidance patterns:

• Avoiding visibility → Belief: “I’ll be judged/criticized/exposed as inadequate”
• Avoiding finishing → Belief: “Completion means being evaluated” or “Done means no more potential, just reality”
• Avoiding asking for help → Belief: “I should be able to do this alone” or “Needing help means I’m weak”
• Avoiding relationships → Belief: “I’ll be hurt/abandoned/not chosen”

You’re not lazy or self-sabotaging randomly—you’re being protected by a belief that sees danger where there might be opportunity

Pick your biggest avoidance and write down the belief that makes that thing feel threatening. Sit with that belief for a moment and recognize it for what it is. Is it fear? Worry? Doubt?

Now reframe that belief to something that works for you, something positive that would move you into action. Start with this and look at it everyday.

What to Do Once You’ve Identified Them

Now That You Can See Them, Here’s What Comes Next

Finding limiting beliefs isn’t bad news—it’s empowering information. It gives us awareness into ourselves that we didn’t have before.

With this awareness we can take further steps to changing our beliefs. If you already have a good list of your current beliefs and what you want to change them too, you’re ready for the next step of actually doing the work to change them.

I put together a guide to help you with changing a belief about yourself, you can read it here:

How to Change a Belief About Yourself

If you don’t yet have a good list here are some steps to follow to build one right now:

• Write beliefs down: Make your limiting beliefs explicit
  • Format: “I currently believe [limiting belief]”
  • Example: “I currently believe that speaking up will make people think I’m arrogant”
  • Why this works: Naming them takes away their power to operate invisibly
• Question beliefs: Ask where each belief came from
  • Was it something you were told repeatedly?
  • A conclusion you drew from a painful experience?
  • A protective strategy that once kept you safe?
  • Understanding origin creates distance—you can see it as something you learned, not something that’s true

Pick one belief that’s currently costing you the most time, energy, or freedom.

Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, the work is to replace them.

Changing beliefs requires creating new evidence, questioning old assumptions, and acting from the new belief as if it’s true. Do this over a period of consistency and beliefs will change.

Again, if you need the guide to change your beliefs you can do that here.

Conclusion

You’ve learned 6 methods to identify limiting beliefs.

• Pattern Recognition
• Explanation Observation
• Instant “No” Tracking
• Jealousy Inventory
• Direct Questions
• Avoidance Audit

Limiting beliefs aren’t character flaws—they’re outdated software you can choose to update anytime. Just by identifying them, you’ve already weakened their grip. They only control you when they’re invisible and unseen.

This is ongoing work, not a one-time fix. You’ll keep discovering beliefs as you grow and that should excite you! It’s a joy to reveal new layers of yourself, overcoming obstacles, and growing to your fullest potential.

Start with one method this week and see what you begin to uncover.

Thanks for reading!